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I miss you. I know I shouldn't.. but I do.

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God said: " If you never felt pain, how would you know I'm a healer? If you never felt sadness, how would you know I'm a comforter? Child, if life perfect would you still know me?"

For the implications in our lives: Sometimes God break our spirit to save our soul.

He breaks our heart to make us whole. He sends us pain so we can be stronger.

He sends us failure so we can be humble..

He sends us illness so we can better care of ourselves,

Sometimes God takes everything away from us.
When your life goes wrong, don't waste your time looking back at what you've lost for the road of life was never meant to be traveled backward, just move on, say,

" I have God, I will get through! "

Last night I asked God : " Why does He have to create pain and hurt? Why after laughter and cheers we have to cry? Why not all smiles be painted in our faces? "

He held my hand and said.

" My child, you do not have time to thank me when you're happy, sometimes, I let you experience pain for you to recognize me. Remember through the pains I'm making you fight the more you cry, the more you are hurt the stronger you become..

"Always remember that, whatever happens, I always give a Rainbow After The Rain"

First time I've ever felt like going back 90's where I'd be wearing those Baby Doll Dresses. They were the dresses that were adorable and made you look like a baby. Or those Butterfly clips. The little plastic butterfly clips that girls of all ages wore by the gross in their hair. The typical way of wearing them was to part your hair in several different places and to clip each section of hair so that the butterflies would be all in a row on top of your head. Or simply those Diaper Pants. They were the pants that had to flaps of material that crossed in the front and buttoned together. Then I'd be munching down on fatty foods known to man in whatever generation(a.k.a Mcdonalds). & I'd be snapping my fingers to ghetto superstar by Pras & mya.

Those were the good days :)

(no subject)
I'm so hungry! :(
But I like how my tummy sounds like the
symphony orchestra. Boom boom booooooom
bom boom bom bom boooooom..

boom boom.

(Random Rant)

So yeah I got bored & decided to make my own livejournal
layout. It's pretty cool (not bcoz of the fact that my
face is plastered there; covering half the page).
Atleast I did something progressive for the last 24 hours
(no, it didn't take me a whole 24 hours doing the layout --
the thinking of what to do did). So check it out :p

randomness hair
I miss my long hair :(
I can`t wait til it grows back long again.
I can`t seem to pull off this short hair type. And I miss being able to
braid my hair. Hahah! I've been combing my hair 100++ a day
(they say that's the fastest way to make your hair long)...
I just hope I don't loose a lot of hair doing that.

Times Like These
It`s time like these that I wish I was able to climb up my roof top & watch the night`s twinkling stars shine away... (but then again.. I`d have to consider the frost bites, jitters & snow that would be all over me).
I have never expected to have to face problems like these. I thought that the one other reason why we moved here was to forget ourselves from the problems that we faced long before. You can never really escape them, can you?...

I`m growing so old, I think I`m seeing white flashes of light before my eyes..

(no subject)
its been months since i last posted =)
hahahah!...ive never been in the mood to post since it brought so much memory of back home.. hahaha.. o well.. life goes on...

i cant be bothered writting stuff about life here... its just going to take forever since i wasn't updating anymore... in general: everything is A-okay =).

a part of me wants to go back home...
but another part doesnt...
sure, yeah i do miss being around him... being around my friends... my relatives... but.. life seems more easier here... (but in terms of house cleaning, FUCK! it reeeaaallly makes me wanna go back home =P).

hehehe... life is really much more different here.
its waaay too expensive... but then, it's worth it.

i'll start updating new posts from now on =P


canada...ooh canada...
That felt like the most horrific and freakin-a longest plane ride I have ever taken in my life... I couldn't even get enough sleep bcoz of damn kristine always leaning on my shoulder and sleeping sound as hell... Good thing THAT was over (even though it took 10 hours to get to this country).

The moment I walked out of the airport, every single hair attached to my body stood up! As-in-UP! (even 'the' hairs who are not suppose to even be moving..hahahaha....no). It was hella freezing... And they freakin call it summer. Imagine winter. . . . oooooh NO!

My parents thought that it was better to rent a house rather than to buy at first coz we would still have the privilege to move places... The house isn't at all bad.. apart from the fact that I share a space with my sister, this place is pretty much okay.

BTW... jumping to the present... I think our neighbours consider our house as the most noisiest and smokiest house in the whole neighbourhood.. This is because everytime we try to fry food, the damn smoke detector sets off... Whats funny about it is that everytime it makes noise, my dad has to start fanning the thing (making his shirt slowly lift up, thus revealing a very huge belly).

The positive sides of living here is that I finally learnt how to cook. I mean, I do know how (w/ a little... more like a LOT... of help from our maid) back at home... Its kinda fun.. lol.. and i've got burnt marks to prove it. All 16 of those small chicken-pox-look-alike dots on my arm. And my brother was very supportive during those harsh moments... All he did was sit there, dictate what the hell to do, then sit there, and burst out laughing.

And there's the hunk-next-door. HAHAHA! We (my mom, my sister, and I) call him david due to the fact that he, somewhat, resembles David Hasselhof -- how do you spell his last name??.. Like, everytime we see him outside we'd shreek like little girls and start calling out to him (faintly) whilst battering our eyelashes, " daaaavid... ohh daaaavid"... Hilarious!

I keep contact with enrico via phone, ym, and txt... sheesh! its like we're already together 24/7 coz we talk 24/7 regardless of the time and day differences... I miss him sooo super mucho though.. love lots even more.

I miss my friends too :'(
Like, i don't have a friend here...all except david... who doesn't even know i exsist and i know hates us coz we make so much noise and we're just a wall apart.

Sometimes i even talk to myself during the day just to kill boredom. 0_0.

Juuuuust joking! :)
Atleast they have B.E.T here... NO T.F.C though.. I wish they installed it coz i miss watching wowowee and dancing to all the songs they sing... lol
I am so loosing my mind.

Don't be so shocked finding out one day that i suddenly jumped off our window out of sheer boredom... and maybe even the curiosity of what birds feel when they fly. Hey, someone has got to know whats behind that philosophy. lol.

Anyways, ima update more if something interesting came up. Or if I'm just doing nothing at all.

P.S. I am so addicted to cooking that i think I'm hearing someone cooking downstairs.... could it be?.... daaaaaaaaavid!

i believe love will find a way...
I just arrived in canada with eyes all blotchy from crying too much. It is such a sad fuck that I can no longer be with the people I love. This is how it feels... When every memory suddenly surges back and hits you just-like-THAT; right in your face. I guess this is one of those times when you regret doing so many things to so many people and that you keep wishing upon that star that you magically appear back in time to alter any mistakes you've done before you left.

I miss enrico. I have to admit that I cry everytime I hear sweet music. Every memory suddenly hurts... But I have to be strong... I know we'd be facing so many hardships in life, but i know (with a little thing called faith), that we will be okay... That he will still love me no matter what... I can't loose hope... But not even a fool can avoid to think of things that are plausible to happen within months of not seeing each other.
I just have to keep trusting my heart. I have to. I want to. I love him way too much.

I miss my friends. I know i'd meet new ones here, but then I value my friends back home way even more. I am who I am right now because of them. I love you guys. I know we'd meet again someday... I hope you guys wont change (stay evil, dirty, and green minded!) hahaha! I miss you meggie.. sayang we couldnt meet right before i left... You take care tol.. Ingatan mo puso mo... To eetin, hahaha! :] thanks for going to my place the day before I left. You've physically changed... but you're still that small girl I love to talk to about almost anything. :] *sigh* I'm crying again.

Home... There's nothing like the Philippines. The busy streets. The only highway in the world that has traffic. The intense heat. The late closing of malls (*sobs to the ultimo* malls here close at aroung 6! wtf!). The ukay-ukay. And so much more. I love you Philippines. Even though I deteste you at first. You're not that bad afterall. *kisses pollution*

I love you enrico. I love you my bestfriends. I love you Philippines.

See you when I'm more canadian. fuck.


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